I went to study at a medical college at 37. Why and why?

The teacher, journalist and book observer Yevgeny Shaffert, tells about his decision to change the profession in adulthood and his consequences.

Every year at the end of December I make plans for next year. I think how much I will work, and how much to study. Will I spend a couple of months to improve my English or will I go to Pilates twice a week twice a week. I’ll go with my mother in Altai or with my son to St. Petersburg.

For many years, these New Year’s plans have very stimulated me: it was nice to open a file at the end of the year and put checks near most points. Then I looked at those points that did not come true, and realized that some things ceased to seem important to me, so I did not make enough effort to implement them.

My 2020 was about the same way: I made a good list, which reflected “work”, “self -development”, “family” and other important. But opening this list at the end of 2021, I understood two unexpected and important things. First: I have not implemented any of the points of the last list. Second: for the first time in many years, I feel not just safely and calmly, but much better – I feel inspired and happy! How did it happen?

It was this year that in my own almost forty years, I sharply changed my life, at the same time fulfilling my childhood dream: I became a student of a medical college

Looking back, I carefully try to reconstruct the chain of events and reasoning, which eventually led me to the “Medical Affairs” branch of the Berd branch of the Novosibirsk Medical College. What I had to my 37 years? I graduated from university and graduate school. A few years after the university she worked at the profile research institute, and then they called me to teach.

It turned out to be quite entertaining to work with students, but I worked as a book observer at the same time: I wrote reviews and reviews of children’s books for the media. All life was focused around the texts and their discussions. Sometimes I thought: “It’s so interesting what else you can dream about?»From time to time:“ Well, where can I move on?»And then I suddenly realized that the work did not please me.

Why it happened? I still have no clear and final answer. There are three versions, each of which seems partly correct. Maybe it’s all about banal burnout. It is strange, of course, to burn out, having worked as a teacher for less than ten years, but everyone has its own margin of safety. Once I even found on the Internet a test on the topic “Did you burn out?”And answered” yes “to almost all questions, including the question:“ Do not you think that you are engaged in unnecessary nonsense?”

However, I had some doubts about the test results. I never thought that my work is so important for humanity, but this did not prevent me from enjoying it. It’s

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just that at some point the pleasure was cringing to a small lump-and I could not do anything.

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