A long marriage does not bring the spouses closer: science has found evidence

The farther, the more obvious that husband and wife are still different people with their views, goals and interests. The duration of the relationship affects this very poorly, judging by the data that researchers received.

It is well known that for a start and maintaining a romantic relationship, the similarity between partners is important in how they look at life and the world around them. People who are on the same wave, with close interests, beliefs, opinions, are attracted to each other. When discussing important topics for both topics, partners seek to develop a single approach to solving

problems, to indicate general views on certain issues.

However, it was still not clear whether partners manage to achieve such a merger and unity not only at the beginning of the relationship, but after a few years of family life. As evidenced by the results of a study conducted by two scientists from New Zealand,

The longer people are married, the more the differences appear between them

Researchers whose article Published In the magazine Social PSYCHOLOGICAL and PERSONALITY Science, analyzed data on 171 heterosexual pair. These people, whose age hesitated from 22 to 90 years old, four years in a row, from 2015 to 2018, annually answered questions about their life, political views, attitude to religion and to the environment, and so on.

It turned out that over time, partners do not get closer. On the contrary, rather they diverge in their views and beliefs. Over the years, more and more individual differences are manifested in relation to life and to the world, the spouses begin in different ways, sometimes even completely opposite, look at certain problems and situations. Moreover, this difference is manifested even in such moments that, in theory, partners should be the same, for example, in the views on their relationship and life together.

Nevertheless, the researchers note, despite the fact that each of the partners develops along their trajectory, this does not mean that relations are doomed. If there is consent between the spouses on some key points, if they are ready to compromise and strive to understand each other, then nothing prevents them from being happy in marriage.